Reason #7
March 5th, 2009
Control.
This is the poorest reason to embark on hiking the Appalachian trail, especially when one wants to meditate, and I am most ashamed about it.
I feel like I have no control over my life. Maybe everyone feels that way, but I feel over the last two years ( since returning from India really) I have been throwing myself against a brick wall. I’ve sent out over 100 cover letters and over 20 residency proposal and have not had anything positive come out of either endevour besides a brief internship and a temp job. I couldn’t even get a job at starbucks. So in a bizarre way I feel trapped, almost forced into hiking the trail. I don’t know what else to do, what else to try. This is also why I’m going to grad school, and I was so scared I’d be blocked out of that, too. Of course I wanted to work at an architecture or design firm for a year or two first, but no dice. I am so tired of people telling me “no”.
So I walk. Because I want to. Because I have to. And because no one can tell me I can’t.